Archive for the ‘space travel’ Category

China, space potatoes, and the end of the world.

February 13, 2007

Hi Brit,

How many old science fiction movies have you seen that start with something mutating due to space radiation, then eating a good deal of the Earth?  Well, in this case the Chinese are eating the mutants, space potatoes that is!  Purple and sweet, these other worldly spuds come from seeds that were zapped by radiation aboard a Chinese rocket ship.  Now the question is, when will the tater monsters turn on their glutinous masters?  2012, of course, as demonstrated by the fact that potatoes originated in South America, where the Mayans lived!

the Grit

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Global Warming – Branson to the rescue

February 9, 2007

We can rest easy in our beds tonight, knowing that the solution to global warming is in safe hands. One of our most popular entrepreneurs, Richard Branson, has come up the solution. His idea is to offer a $25 million dollar prize to the first scientist to come up with a solution to extract CO2 from the atmosphere.

There are of course three problems here. One is that, if the past is anything to go by, it will be difficult to get scientific agreement. Two, by the time such a project is completed it will be too late and three, how will the machine or whatever be able to distinguish between so-called man-made emissions and natural emissions?

However, not to miss the opportunity to accumulate some wealth, I have come up with a couple of ideas you might want to help me with Grit.

PROJECT ONE 

STEP ONE – Build one chimney in the middle of the Atlantic.  It needs to be 15 miles high and 100 feet in diameter and stand on pylons sunk into the earth.

STEP TWO – Build a second chimney at a spot 180 degrees around the earth from the first chimney with the same dimensions.

STEP THREE – two miles above the earth’s surface around each chimney attach a network of horizontal pipes, one for each country within that chimneys hemisphere. The lengths of these pipes will be to be custom made so that they extend to reach each individual country.

STEP FOUR – At the end of each pipe attach a multi head large extractor fan, rather like a shower head. These will be directed to all points of the compass so that there is even coverage.

JOB DONE. Caution. All of the extractor fans will need to be turned on simultaneously to avoid unbalancing the earth.

PROJECT TWO

Possibly a more simple solution. I am given to understand that man-made emissions can be collected in containers of some nature. Therefore why don’t we constuct a fleet of CO2 garbage shuttles capable of holding these containers and run a weekly CO2 disposal service. By this route we can dump the emissions somewhere in outer space and give the problem to another galaxy.

the Brit

PS: Where do we find the application forms for the $25 million? 

The Vault reveals another sign…

February 9, 2007

Hi Brit,

I hate to start the day with doomsday news, but this story, ‘Doomsday vault’ to resist global warming effects, has to be explored.  Making the assumption that the Norwegians aren’t completely insane, this effort is obviously preparation for the exodus prior to the end of the world in 2012.  Of course, these seeds are probably going to be Mars bound.  If you need proof of the connection, then consider this, “The entry to the vault, which will shoot out of the mountainside, will be a narrow triangular portal made of cement and steel, illuminated with artwork that changes according to the Arctic light.”  Compare that to the back of the Great Seal of the United States, designed by Free Masons.  Then, consider that the Vault contains two chambers connected by sloping tunnels, much like the Great Pyramid at Giza, built by the people who started the Free Masons.

the Grit

I just have to point this out…

February 6, 2007

Hi Brit,

I suspect that, by now, you’ve seen some report on, Astronaut accused of attempted murder.  The only reason I bring this particular article to your attention is that it is posted under Reuters Science News.  Don’t you know the reporters on the science beat have been dancing with joy that they finally have an excuse to cover a juicy story full of sex and violence.  To them I say, enjoy it while you can; next week it’s back to writing about electrons and strange looking fish.

the Grit

Die Global Warming! Die!

January 28, 2007

Hi Brit,

This is even cooler than giant robots or rail guns!  US answer to global warming: smoke and giant space mirrors  Hot dang, giant space mirrors!  I don’t even care what they’re for, just the idea of giant space mirrors is great. 

Of course, if you read the article, it points out a big heap of things wrong with the IPCC (you remember, the UN’s Global Warming lap dogs,) including a mention that:

“The US has also attempted to steer the UN report, prepared by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), away from conclusions that would support a new worldwide climate treaty based on binding targets to reduce emissions – as sought by Tony Blair. It has demanded a draft of the report be changed to emphasise the benefits of voluntary agreements and to include criticisms of the Kyoto Protocol, the existing treaty which the US administration opposes.”

Now, at first that may sound odd or, to some, evil – a politician trying to tamper with a scientific report.  However, if you read the fine print of the existing IPCC reports, the ones that riled up all the worry about Global Warming, it turns out that (and you will hear rare mention of this by the liberal press) the final report(s) is subject to editing by politicians from several governments!  Obviously, this has to cast doubt on, not only these reports, but on Global Warming itself.  Thus, I suggest we cancel the UN, forget about Global Warming, and spend the money saved building giant space mirrors.  Oh, and we could make some of them fun-house mirrors, the ones that distort your reflection to make you look weird.  That way, the whole world could have a good laugh.

the Grit

End of world preparations continue some more.

January 21, 2007

Hi Brit,

My usually unreliable source had this waiting for me this morning,

James Brown’s body moved, no word where.  Obviously, if you’re taking Elvis to the secret moon base, why leave James Brown behind.  It’s starting to look like the end of the world may be a real party.”

Rock on James!

the Grit

Power from space.

January 13, 2007

Hi Brit,

There is a way to power England with solar power, and only take up a tiny bit of your island: Whatever happened to solar power satellites?  This concept, putting the solar cells in space and beaming the energy to Earth as microwaves, has been around for a long time.  It would have been almost practical back in the early seventies to establish a lunar colony to do the manufacturing of parts.  This was discussed, but the political situation made it impossible to divert the investment capital needed away from social and military programs.  There was also a bunch of chatter from environmental groups, claiming that the SPSs would heat the Earth too much, use too much land for the microwave collectors, and potentially get out of control and destroy all life as we know it.  As I recall, the deciding factor against even putting up a test version was that the USSR would have seen it as a weapon system.  Of course, as energy costs rise and space flight gets cheaper…

the Grit

Global warming bias in news media.

January 11, 2007

Hi Brit,

Here’s not only a great example of media bias toward the global warming theory, but also some interesting technological information that means we may get actual data in the near future on which to base decisions. 

Tiny Satellites Watch Earth Warm

This is great proof of the media lies since, not only does it not offer any real information about global temperatures, but, while leading with a strong title claiming that the Earth is getting warmer, it also points out that we don’t have enough temperature data on many areas of our planet.  Come on left wing reporters, even you liberals can’t have your cake and eat it too.

the Grit

End of world preparations continue.

January 10, 2007

Hi Brit,

Speaking of rockets and the end of the world, this bit of news should interest you, Britain eyes its first mission to the moon.  Obviously, the Royal Family has tickets for the exodus before 2012 and are looking for choice lunar real estate for their Moon Palace.  Sure, the property is free, but construction costs are astronomical. On the up side, the view is great and they won’t have to worry about the paparazzi.

the Grit

Want to be a rocket man?

January 10, 2007

Hi Brit,

If you really need to escape from your problems for a bit try this: Microsoft’s Vista launch promoted with space ride prize.  That should take your mind off Michael Jackson.  Personally, I think I’ll keep my feet on the ground, even if my head is sometimes in the clouds.

the Grit