Archive for the ‘smoking’ Category

We don’t have smoking police, yet…

February 15, 2007

Hi Brit,

While we don’t yet have special police to fetter out evil smokers, at times the regular police are pressed into service.  Ellison Sends ‘Sorry’ Note to Tancredo For To-Do Over Cigar Complaint.  This is the face saving attempt by newly elected Representative Ellison (D-Min) who sicked the Capital Police on Representative Tancredo (R-Col) for smoking a cigar in his office, which happens to share a wall with the Freshman Congressman.  As it turns out, there is no law or rule preventing smoking in the private offices of Representatives, but the police did drop by to mention the report to Tancredo and share a laugh, if not a stogy.  Of course, if the liberals get their way, the officer would simply have shot the evil smoker, sprayed his corpse with a fire extinguisher, and been done with the matter.

the Grit


Anti-smoking police – £29.5 million

February 15, 2007

The UK government are at it again. Just when one thinks that they cannot waste any more money, the powers that be come up with yet another crazy scheme to waste our money. Not satisfied with all the cameras that are spread around the country, nor with the increasing powers that are given to police and local authorities, they have decided that we still cannot be trusted on our own.

This time it is all to do with the impending “smoking ban” which comes into force later this year. Under the new laws we will be banned from smoking in all public places. That includes bars, shops and resturants. The owners of such establishments will also be liable to fines if they allow people to breach the ban in their premises. However, as is this is not enough incentive to uphold this law, the government have decided to spend nearly £30 million ($60 million) of our money to train what they call “smoking” police. 

The task of these officers (undercover of course) will be to wander around all of the establishments trying to spot the illegal smoker in the act. What has to be borne in mind here, is what happens if a smoker is standing outside of a shop and the smoke from his/her cigarettes drifts into the shop? No doubt they will be fined for a “passive” smoke offence.

With this, and the recent case of smoke penetrating the wall into a neighbours house, it is not hard to imagine waking up one day to find one of these new “fag” detectors encamped in the cupboard under the stairs.

the Brit 

It seems that I must buy a helmet.

January 25, 2007

Hi Brit,

For some time now, what with the diminishing amount of hair my head will grow, I have been searching for the appropriate hat.  This story, Spot in Brain May Control Smoking Urge, seems to have limited my choice to a helmet.  Oh, sure, the liberals will say they won’t mandate brain surgery to rid the world of the Evil Urge To Smoke, but, considering that they have no problem with slaughtering infants in the womb, bending freedom of speech to their whim, or condemning millions of people to lingering death (DDT – malaria, look it up,) I trust you will forgive me if I take precautions.

the Grit

Smoking detectives

January 19, 2007

Hi Grit

I have been meaning to respond to your post about smoking  Nazi’s, but needed to check whether I could use the word 🙂

For those who wish to ban smoking in cars over there, they should take a leaf or two out of the UK laws. In a unique application the police can charge parents who are smoking in their cars with mistreatment of the child, or of course failing in their parental duties. With regard to people simply smoking in the car, they can of course be charged with driving without due care. Of course the latter route can also be used for eating, sneezing, singing, changing CD’s and talking to your partner. One can of course be fined and/or jailed for these offences.

Of course this does help those who wish to break the habit of smoking, excess consumption of food, parenting, spreading infectious diseases, vocal abuse and noise excess. The only difficulty, at least for the ladies, is that it will threaten their record of speaking 8,000 words a day.

I assume that we are heading to a situation where unless you have had a recent haircut, manicure, shave and are wearing a shirt and tie, you will not be able to drive at all. By the way, one cannot escape the long eye of the law or blame it on someone else, now that we have face recognition camera traps.

the Brit 

Britney’s career is over!

January 17, 2007

Hi Brit,

I hate to say it, but I’m afraid our favorite strumpet has driven the final nail in the coffin of her career.  Carefully examine this article, Britney Spears’s $40,000 Night in Vegas, and see if you can find the deadly sin.  No, it’s not the ostentatious display of wealth.  Wrong again, it’s not having hot naked adulterous sex on a revolving bed.  Nope, not the wild late night parties, or even dancing on the bar.  Give up?

Then here it is:

“It was a different scene Saturday night. Spears and model-actor Cohen, both 25, danced and smoked cigarettes at 8½, a gay club off the Strip, before leaving after about an hour.”  Do you see it now?  She smoked cigarettes in public!  She’s done I tell you!  Done!

the Grit