Archive for the ‘Paris Hilton’ Category

Paris Hilton and Michael Jackson

February 9, 2007

Hi Grit

Well the British have a view on just about anything. Recently, one of our tabloid newspapers asked their readers which celebrities they considered would make the wierdest couple. Bearing in mind all of the weird UK celebrities that we have, you would have thought that two of these would have topped the list. However, this was not the case.

The popular opinion, based mainly on their plastic looks, was that Paris Hilton and Michael Jackson would be the most unusual coupling between celebrities. Methinks it did not take a high level of intelligence to work that out!

the Brit

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No cover up here!

February 8, 2007

Hi Brit,

 photo14.jpg

I mentioned earlier that Paris Hilton needed to release another sex tape to take attention away from her recent bout of Politically Incorrectness.  Well, there is a new celebrity sex tape about to be released, although it only stars a friend of Paris, Vivid Acquires Kim Kardashian Sex Tape for $1 Million.  It seem, as usual, the tape was stolen and sold by a Third Party.  Even pop culture tarts of Hilton’s stature can’t sell such a thing, since that would make them actual whores instead of just sluts.  While Kim doesn’t look all that trashy in the above photo, she tramps up pretty good:

 ursulamayesfeb132cmlj7.jpg

The other amateur porn star in the flick is someone or something named Ray J.  My guess is that this is just a warm up for another Paris Porn Picture to get her back in the good standing with her Hollywood friends.  Of course, if celebrity sex tapes fall out of favor, will Kim and Paris be required to attend pornhab?

the Grit

Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lyndsey Lohan: Prosti-tots

February 6, 2007

Hi Grit

I think I must have come across brit_paris_lindsay_002.jpgthe only article that mentions all of the above mentioned girls in one breath. Recounting how at one time all of these girls were friends, and their ability to be able to individually or together garner fame, usually by actions or photographs that are less than tasteful, the newspaper in question reveals that yet again they have come together in a media circus.

The story is that time, in a recent issue posed the question whether the three girls have too much influence on the youth of today, with the cover asking whether we are raising a youth of prosti-tots. Surprisingly 77% agreed with this hypothesis. I find this surprising in that this must mean that the other 23% disagree. Based on internet statistics, it would seem that the lower percentage are either far more vocal and active than those who agree, or the agreeing percentage still go off and buy the papers, read the magazines and click on all the stories about them.

It’s a strange world sometimes.

the Brit

Is there gayhab in Paris’ future?

February 6, 2007

Hi Brit,

Remember back when Isaiah Washington had that moment of homophobia?  Do you also recall that Paris Hilton committed a similar politically incorrect indiscretion?  Well, it seemed for a while that she was going to miss the storm of criticism that forced Isaiah into gayhab, but she’s not out of the woods just yet: Gay Leaders Urge Paris to Apologize.  Now she has GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) on her ass, demanding an apology.  Better do something fast, Paris, before your image is tarnished.

the Grit

Britney Spears knickerless is catching.

February 3, 2007

Hi Grit

It seems like the knickerless trend started by Britney Spears is catching. The latest celebrity to get in on the Act is Jemima Khan, who decided to attend her 33rd birthday party in a PVC dress with nothing left to the imagination. This from a lady who was totally covered at her wedding to Imran Khan.

Popular opinion has it that Jemima was trying to keep her boyfriend’s (Hugh Grant) mind of his ex-flame Liz Hurley. In police terms over here they would call that entrapment!

I must be getting old because I really don’t see the point of this sort of behaviour. Are all these ladies just trying to put flesh impetous into their careers?

the Brit

Paris Hilton – Racist!?!

February 2, 2007

Hi Brit,

Well, Paris has, apparently, opened her mouth once too often:

PARIS HILTON SPITS N-WORD AND F-WORD: And the video proof is on YouTube.

Possible Racist Paris Hilton Video Surfaces Online

If this is true, even rehab may not fix it.  If this is true, even apologies may not fix it.  The only recourse the empty headed heiress has that may in some small way repair the damage this will do to her public image is to release another sex tape.  Who cares if this trashy twit is homophobic or racist?  The only thing people care about is seeing her naked.  So Paris, show us your tits and all is forgiven.

the Grit

Paris wants her stuff back!

January 30, 2007

Hi Brit,

If you recall, I posted about Paris forgetting to pay for her storage locker and having a bunch of her personal items auctioned off.  Well, the Hilton hottie is in a snit and wants her stuff back, Hilton sues site with her personal items.  Considering that the first purchaser of the Paris treasure chest paid $2,775 and sold it for the tidy sum of $10 MILLION, I can’t say I blame her.  It’ll be interesting to find out if the court this happens is one with TV cameras.

the Grit

 

Bat out of hell, bite me world!

January 29, 2007

Hi Brit,

I was in a bit of a nostalgic mood this afternoon, so I put “Bat Out of Hell” on and cranked it up.  Man, what perfect timing!  Global Warming, extremest Muslim terrorists, liberals, Jane Fonda, Britney’s beaver, Big Brother racism, Hillary Clinton, the United Nations, President Bush, AlGore, Iraq, Iran, nuclear bombs, blood in the streets, and the end of the world; screw it all!  So, take a few minutes, put the CD on, crank it up and sing along!

Bat Out Of Hell lyrics

The sirens are screaming and the fires are howling

Way down in the valley tonight
There’s a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye
And a blade shining oh so bright
There’s evil in the air and there’s thunder in the sky
And a killer’s on the bloodshot streets
And down in the tunnel where the deadly are rising
Oh I swear I saw a young boy
Down in the gutter
He was starting to foam in the heat
Oh Baby you’re the only thing in this whole world
that’s pure and good and right
And wherever you are and wherever you go
There’s always gonna be some light
But i gotta get out
I gotta break it out now
Before the final crack of dawn
So we gotta make the most of our one night together
When it’s over you know
We’ll both be so alone
Like a bat out of hell
I’ll be gone when the morning comes
When the night is over
Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone gone gone
Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone when the morning comes
But when the day is done
And the sun goes down
And the moonlight’s shining through

Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven

I’ll come crawling on back to you
I’m gonna hit the highway like a battering ram

On a silver black phantom bike

When the metal is hot and the engine is hungry

And we’re all about to see the light

Nothing ever grows in this rotten old hole

Everything is stunted and lost

And nothing really rocks

And nothing really rolls

And nothing’s ever worth the cost

And I know that I’m damned if I never get out

And maybe I’m damned if I do

But with every other beat I got left in my heart

You know I’d rather be damned with you

If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

Dancing through the night with you

If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

Gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

If Gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

Dancing through the night

Dancing through the night

Dancing through the night with you
Oh Baby you’re the only thing in this whole world

     that’s pure and good and right

And wherever you are and wherever you go

There’s always gonna be some light

But I gotta get out

I gotta break it out now

Before the final crack of dawn

So we gotta make the most of our one night together

When it’s over you know

We’ll both be so alone

Like a bat out of hell

I’ll be gone when the morning comes

When the night is over

Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone gone gone

Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone when the morning comes

But when the day is done

And the sun goes down

And the moonlight’s shining through

Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven

I’ll come crawling on back to you

Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven

I’ll come crawling on back to you

I can see myself tearing up the road

Faster than any other boy has ever gone

And my skin is raw but my soul is ripe

And no one’s gonna stop me now

I gotta make my escape

But I can’t stop thinking of you

And I never see the sudden curve until it’s way too late

I never see the sudden curve till it’s way too late

Then I’m dying on the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun

Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike

And I think somebody somewhere is tolling a bell

And the last thing I see is my heart

Still beating

Breaking out of my body

And flying away

Like a bat out of hell

Then I’m dying at the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun

Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike

And I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell

And the last thing I see is my heart

Still beating

Still beating

Breaking out of my body and flying away

Like a bat out of hell

Thanks Jim; thanks Meat!  Still love it; still a fan.

the Grit

Paris Hilton for $50K?

January 27, 2007

Hi Grit

It appears that one inventive company had the idea of of offering Paris Hilton to every male that wanted her – in the form of a lifesize blow up doll. However, their plans have received a minor setback as the lady herself has refused to endorse the product. Bearing in mind the other videos etc., that are flooding the net regarding the heiress, I find this decision somewhat at odds with her other activities.

Nevertheless it appears that the company is going ahead with their plans. Of course there is one obstacle to those wishing to indulge themselves – the price tag. $50K for a doll, whatever its capabilities, is a staggering amount and, in my view, you have to be seriously deranged to even think about it.

Paris Hilton might well be in trouble with her own career and life, but she is certainly creating a dollar bandwagon for others.

the Brit

Speaking of sex, nudity, and Paris Hilton…

January 25, 2007

Hi Brit,

In our continuing quest to offer stuff catering to the eclectic tastes of our readers, and noticing that the hits pour in when we talk about Paris Hilton naked, I pay attention to all the trashy crap that’s out there on the net.  Hey, it’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it.

During my daily prowl down smut lane, I found a morsel of rumor about Put-Out Paris not paying her bill on a storage locker and all the loot that was gleaming within going to auction.  I believe that almost as much as the one about Hillary Clinton secretly wanting to cut taxes.  However, for those of you who need an adult content dream to follow: Paris Exposed.

the Grit

Paris Hilton Bubble Bath

January 24, 2007

Hey Grit

Paris Hilton is in the news again today – Twice! Firstly, a new website has opened up which is going to, apparently, show “racy” videos of the heiress, including one in a bubble bath. However, before everyone dashes to find it I should warn that the site is charging £21 ($42) for the priviledge. No doubt there will be some sad people out there who will fork out this exhorbitant amount.

Secondly, she has been fined and put on probation for two years after admitting a drink-driving offence. The reason she was out in the car was because she wanted a hamburger. Don’t you all have “take-away’s” over there?

the Brit.

Paris Hilton Late!

January 4, 2007

Hi Brit,

This one’s funny, Fla. Nightclubs Says Paris Hilton Fired.

It seems that some twit in Florida named his nightclubs after Paris Hilton (Club Paris) for which privilege he, apparently, contracted with the air headed heiress that she make personal appearances on certain days.  As any rational person would suspect, the spoiled rich girl didn’t prove to be punctual.  So, the idiot club owner has fired her.  I name him idiot because, let’s face it people, in what universe is Paris Hilton smart enough to tell time, let alone grasp the concept of calenders?  Mr. Nightclub Owner, if you were serious about getting Paris to be in a particular place at a particular time, you would have sent someone with a leash to fetch her.

the Grit

Paris on the booze

January 3, 2007

Hi Grit

I was looking at your story on Britney, when I noticed further down the page that Paris Hilton went on a trip to Australia for six days, and took eight bags. She was doing an advert for an Australian beer. Do you think that the bags were for bringing home some freebies?

the brit

Paris Hilton, space cadet

January 2, 2007

Hi Brit,

I finally found the secret of Paris Hilton’s fabulous wealth, or, more likely, I learned just what a ditsy twit she really is.  No free lunch? Like, whatever  Either the super rich slut saves enough by skipping out on paying for meals, or she has her heiress head so high in the ozone layer the mechanics of mortal life just pass her by.  Considering that she, apparently, only eats once a week, like snakes do, I tend to think that the “rich bitch” explanation is the correct answer.

the Grit

Paris Hilton on beach!

January 2, 2007

Hi Brit,

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water:

PARIS SIZZLES ON BONDI AS CELEBS TAKE A BREAK IN THE SUN

Sorry we inflict these celebrity types on y’all down there every winter but, for the moment, they still have rights.  Of course, I’ve heard rumors that there’s a movement under way to nationalize all celebrities.  The entertainment industry make big bucks, and we need the money.  So, if and when, you’ll have to rent Paris if you really want her on your beach.

Also, if you can’t afford to zip down under for a personal look, here’s a surfcam of the beach:

http://www.coastalwatch.com/camera/cameras_large.aspx?cam=3800&mode=&state=NSW

Who knows, Paris does seem to be attract to cameras, so you might catch a glimpse.

the Grit