Archive for the ‘junk fod’ Category

China, space potatoes, and the end of the world.

February 13, 2007

Hi Brit,

How many old science fiction movies have you seen that start with something mutating due to space radiation, then eating a good deal of the Earth?  Well, in this case the Chinese are eating the mutants, space potatoes that is!  Purple and sweet, these other worldly spuds come from seeds that were zapped by radiation aboard a Chinese rocket ship.  Now the question is, when will the tater monsters turn on their glutinous masters?  2012, of course, as demonstrated by the fact that potatoes originated in South America, where the Mayans lived!

the Grit

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Bat out of hell, bite me world!

January 29, 2007

Hi Brit,

I was in a bit of a nostalgic mood this afternoon, so I put “Bat Out of Hell” on and cranked it up.  Man, what perfect timing!  Global Warming, extremest Muslim terrorists, liberals, Jane Fonda, Britney’s beaver, Big Brother racism, Hillary Clinton, the United Nations, President Bush, AlGore, Iraq, Iran, nuclear bombs, blood in the streets, and the end of the world; screw it all!  So, take a few minutes, put the CD on, crank it up and sing along!

Bat Out Of Hell lyrics

The sirens are screaming and the fires are howling

Way down in the valley tonight
There’s a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye
And a blade shining oh so bright
There’s evil in the air and there’s thunder in the sky
And a killer’s on the bloodshot streets
And down in the tunnel where the deadly are rising
Oh I swear I saw a young boy
Down in the gutter
He was starting to foam in the heat
Oh Baby you’re the only thing in this whole world
that’s pure and good and right
And wherever you are and wherever you go
There’s always gonna be some light
But i gotta get out
I gotta break it out now
Before the final crack of dawn
So we gotta make the most of our one night together
When it’s over you know
We’ll both be so alone
Like a bat out of hell
I’ll be gone when the morning comes
When the night is over
Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone gone gone
Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone when the morning comes
But when the day is done
And the sun goes down
And the moonlight’s shining through

Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven

I’ll come crawling on back to you
I’m gonna hit the highway like a battering ram

On a silver black phantom bike

When the metal is hot and the engine is hungry

And we’re all about to see the light

Nothing ever grows in this rotten old hole

Everything is stunted and lost

And nothing really rocks

And nothing really rolls

And nothing’s ever worth the cost

And I know that I’m damned if I never get out

And maybe I’m damned if I do

But with every other beat I got left in my heart

You know I’d rather be damned with you

If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

Dancing through the night with you

If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

Gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

If Gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

Dancing through the night

Dancing through the night

Dancing through the night with you
Oh Baby you’re the only thing in this whole world

     that’s pure and good and right

And wherever you are and wherever you go

There’s always gonna be some light

But I gotta get out

I gotta break it out now

Before the final crack of dawn

So we gotta make the most of our one night together

When it’s over you know

We’ll both be so alone

Like a bat out of hell

I’ll be gone when the morning comes

When the night is over

Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone gone gone

Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone when the morning comes

But when the day is done

And the sun goes down

And the moonlight’s shining through

Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven

I’ll come crawling on back to you

Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven

I’ll come crawling on back to you

I can see myself tearing up the road

Faster than any other boy has ever gone

And my skin is raw but my soul is ripe

And no one’s gonna stop me now

I gotta make my escape

But I can’t stop thinking of you

And I never see the sudden curve until it’s way too late

I never see the sudden curve till it’s way too late

Then I’m dying on the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun

Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike

And I think somebody somewhere is tolling a bell

And the last thing I see is my heart

Still beating

Breaking out of my body

And flying away

Like a bat out of hell

Then I’m dying at the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun

Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike

And I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell

And the last thing I see is my heart

Still beating

Still beating

Breaking out of my body and flying away

Like a bat out of hell

Thanks Jim; thanks Meat!  Still love it; still a fan.

the Grit

Diet and exercise

January 27, 2007

Hi Grit

What surprises me in this world is waste. Whilst glancing through the news last night I came across an article about diet and exercise. Nothing unusual about that you might think and on the surface that is true. However, this report is in respect of a scientific study conducted into the effects of diet and exercise, both in terms of weight loss and longevity. Their findings?

1) A controlled diet helps weight loss. 

2) Exercise helps weight loss and physically makes us healthier.

3) Diet and Exercise can have an equal impact upon weight loss.

4) Diet and exercise can improve human longevity.

Have we not had thousands of researches and studies that confirm these findings in the past? What new information has this study produced that we did not already know? The report says that its findings may challenge the way that the diet and fitness industry view diet and exercise. With all respect I think that is rubbish. These findings have been known for years by people as individuals as well as the industry.

Of course, like all similar researches, there is an area where they cannot produce positive results and that is longevity. Apparently, although I am not sure how, they have proven that worms and dogs live longer on a controlled diet and exercise regime, but have yet to positively prove its longevity value to humans. My first point here is how the heck do you control the exercise and diet of a worm? In laboratory conditions you are taking it out of its environment and, of course, there is the added problem of getting a worm to co-operate by using dumb-bells, a running machine or to go out for regular ten minute walks. This is apart from the fact that they are not physically capable of engaging in such routines. Secondly, there is the issue of the value of comparing the habits and activity of a worm with a human being. My final point is this. Yes I accept that humans live longer as a result of improvements in medicine and other advances; yes it is known that a person who eats properly and exercises potentially lives longer than one who doesn’t; but where is the scientific study in that? Surely it is a simple case of common sense?

Which all brings me back to the core of my first sentence, waste! To me this is another example of government or business pouring hundreds of thousands of pounds (or dollars), into another fruitless exercise, the results of which adds no value to the subject matter whatsoever. The time energy and products used in the course of this research has all be wasted, not to mention the potential cruelty to animals by subjecting them to experiments that they neither asked for nor agreed to.

Surely there is a more constructive way of utilising the brains of these people?

the Brit

Your 15 minutes of fame are up when…

January 24, 2007

Hi Brit,

You know the saying that “everyone gets 15 minutes of fame.”  Well, sometimes it takes a strong sign to make a person know it’s over.  For Kevin Federline, Britney’s discarded boy toy, this should just about do it, U.S. restaurants blast Kevin Federline TV.  Sorry, KF, but it’s time to go hide out for a year or twenty.  Don’t be too sad.  The Spears ride was destined to end sooner or later, and you’ve always got chess to fall back on.

the Grit

Cloning

January 11, 2007

Hi Grit

The stcalf.JPGory of the cloned calf reached us yesterday. It also transpired that this is a regular occurence in the UK and that we are already eating cloned animals, the embryos for which are kindly supplied by your country. However, what might be disturbing is that there is no record kept regarding these animals. Therefore, we have no idea how many are being bred, slaughtered or served on our Sunday plate. In itself this may not be a problem, but it does raise the question – how do we know that the human equivalent is not underway? Personally, I would hate to walk down the street and find myself coming towards me from the opposite direction.

Of course, the other problem is how we know that by eating these animals, that we are not going to become a clone breeding ground. I do of course study my stomach each morning, just to make sure that the slight excess is due to liquid refreshment and not something more sinister out of “the alien.”

the Brit

England cuts the cheese

January 3, 2007

Hi Brit,

I thought our junk food Nazis were bad until I saw this, TV ban on adverts for cheese, the latest ‘junk food’.  At least ours haven’t wormed their way into the Government, yet.  For the moment they still have to settle for using our legal system to swamp McDonalds with junk lawsuits in an attempt to drive them out of business.

the Grit