Archive for the ‘Hollywood’ Category

No cover up here!

February 8, 2007

Hi Brit,

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I mentioned earlier that Paris Hilton needed to release another sex tape to take attention away from her recent bout of Politically Incorrectness.  Well, there is a new celebrity sex tape about to be released, although it only stars a friend of Paris, Vivid Acquires Kim Kardashian Sex Tape for $1 Million.  It seem, as usual, the tape was stolen and sold by a Third Party.  Even pop culture tarts of Hilton’s stature can’t sell such a thing, since that would make them actual whores instead of just sluts.  While Kim doesn’t look all that trashy in the above photo, she tramps up pretty good:

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The other amateur porn star in the flick is someone or something named Ray J.  My guess is that this is just a warm up for another Paris Porn Picture to get her back in the good standing with her Hollywood friends.  Of course, if celebrity sex tapes fall out of favor, will Kim and Paris be required to attend pornhab?

the Grit

One more to add to the “exposed tart” list!

February 6, 2007

Hi Brit,

You seem to be correct in your theory that there is a knicker shortage.  What, I must wonder, is the origin of that word?  Anyway, Mischa Barton, who ever she is, has joined the Britney club, Mischa Barton shows off her butt in tights.  So, was there a health notice that I missed warning of the dangers of underwear? 

the Grit

Bat out of hell, bite me world!

January 29, 2007

Hi Brit,

I was in a bit of a nostalgic mood this afternoon, so I put “Bat Out of Hell” on and cranked it up.  Man, what perfect timing!  Global Warming, extremest Muslim terrorists, liberals, Jane Fonda, Britney’s beaver, Big Brother racism, Hillary Clinton, the United Nations, President Bush, AlGore, Iraq, Iran, nuclear bombs, blood in the streets, and the end of the world; screw it all!  So, take a few minutes, put the CD on, crank it up and sing along!

Bat Out Of Hell lyrics

The sirens are screaming and the fires are howling

Way down in the valley tonight
There’s a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye
And a blade shining oh so bright
There’s evil in the air and there’s thunder in the sky
And a killer’s on the bloodshot streets
And down in the tunnel where the deadly are rising
Oh I swear I saw a young boy
Down in the gutter
He was starting to foam in the heat
Oh Baby you’re the only thing in this whole world
that’s pure and good and right
And wherever you are and wherever you go
There’s always gonna be some light
But i gotta get out
I gotta break it out now
Before the final crack of dawn
So we gotta make the most of our one night together
When it’s over you know
We’ll both be so alone
Like a bat out of hell
I’ll be gone when the morning comes
When the night is over
Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone gone gone
Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone when the morning comes
But when the day is done
And the sun goes down
And the moonlight’s shining through

Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven

I’ll come crawling on back to you
I’m gonna hit the highway like a battering ram

On a silver black phantom bike

When the metal is hot and the engine is hungry

And we’re all about to see the light

Nothing ever grows in this rotten old hole

Everything is stunted and lost

And nothing really rocks

And nothing really rolls

And nothing’s ever worth the cost

And I know that I’m damned if I never get out

And maybe I’m damned if I do

But with every other beat I got left in my heart

You know I’d rather be damned with you

If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

Dancing through the night with you

If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

Gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

If Gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

Dancing through the night

Dancing through the night

Dancing through the night with you
Oh Baby you’re the only thing in this whole world

     that’s pure and good and right

And wherever you are and wherever you go

There’s always gonna be some light

But I gotta get out

I gotta break it out now

Before the final crack of dawn

So we gotta make the most of our one night together

When it’s over you know

We’ll both be so alone

Like a bat out of hell

I’ll be gone when the morning comes

When the night is over

Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone gone gone

Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone when the morning comes

But when the day is done

And the sun goes down

And the moonlight’s shining through

Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven

I’ll come crawling on back to you

Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven

I’ll come crawling on back to you

I can see myself tearing up the road

Faster than any other boy has ever gone

And my skin is raw but my soul is ripe

And no one’s gonna stop me now

I gotta make my escape

But I can’t stop thinking of you

And I never see the sudden curve until it’s way too late

I never see the sudden curve till it’s way too late

Then I’m dying on the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun

Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike

And I think somebody somewhere is tolling a bell

And the last thing I see is my heart

Still beating

Breaking out of my body

And flying away

Like a bat out of hell

Then I’m dying at the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun

Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike

And I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell

And the last thing I see is my heart

Still beating

Still beating

Breaking out of my body and flying away

Like a bat out of hell

Thanks Jim; thanks Meat!  Still love it; still a fan.

the Grit

And now for more gratuitous nudity!

January 25, 2007

Hi Brit,

Sorry, I just can’t resist these things.  As you know, the 79th Academy Awards is about to occur, and, as we all know, the only reason to watch is the vague hope that a strap or two will part and reveal some surgically enhance booby.  This article (WARNING adult content, giant naked breasts, so don’t look), Breast Supported Actress, takes at least a bit of the suspense off.

the Grit

A mystery solved!

January 25, 2007

Hi Brit,

I’ve been talking about the mysterious qualities of Barack Obama, the liberal Messiah, for a while now.  Mostly, I was wondering about what he really stands for, which seemed to be classified information, until now: Obama Calls for Universal Health Care.  Add that to this, keeping in mind that a picture is worth a thousand words,

obama-ted.jpg

and Obama’s true nature shines through.  No wonder the High and Mighty in Hollywood are fighting with one another to be the first to throw money at his feet!  Barack is a liberal’s liberal.  A man with more feelings than brains.  Someone who knows he has a destiny to be part of the elite, deciding what’s best for us common people, even though, you can bet, it’s not what’s best for Him and his Rich cronies.  With this revelation, it’s easy to see why Hillary has been cast aside.  Just like Hillary, Obama is liberal to the core and a minority.  Unlike Hillary, he doesn’t come across to the general public as an evil bitch.

the Grit

Hillary not liberal enough?

January 25, 2007

Hi Brit,

It seems there is some politics inside politics out on the Left Coast, Hillary’s Hollywood Friends Switch Sides.  Could it be that Hillary isn’t liberal enough for the Rich and Famous?  Or, has sexism come to Tinsel Town?  Perhaps, and I’ll go out on a limb here, it’s because Senator Clinton is a bitch?  Well, that one probably isn’t right.  The liberal elite have plenty of bitches among their number, so they should be used to that.  Ah, I’ve got it, Barack Obama is the Antichrist and has them under his spell.  And not the Spawn of Satan, could it be that the mysterious would-be-President is even more liberal than the Wicked Witch of New York?

As to Senator Obama, there’s also a rumor going around that he’s a Muslim and attended a madrassa while his family lived in Indonesia, Obama Versus Fox News.   I saw a bit on this last week, but figured it was too good to be true.  However, now that I’ve read that piece, I begin to feel that the Secretive Senator does protest too much.  Not to fear, I’m so sure the liberal press will not sleep until they cover up the truth behind this ugly rumor.  Oh, I meant to say, uncover the truth.  Sorry.  My bad.

the Grit

Hollywood should worry about their own neighborhood

January 21, 2007

Hi Brit,

Speaking of Celebrities telling other people how to live, I came across this story: L.A. Vows Gang Crackdown After Kids Die and it got me to thinking that Hollywood, the center of all things Celebrity, is in Los Angeles.  So I looked up crime statistics for the area, Crime Maps and COMPSTAT (click on City – Wide Crime Statistics.)  Wow!  35 murders in less than a month, along with 54 rapes, 1049 robberies, and 915 aggravated assaults.  I’d say the Rich and Famous need to clean up their own neighborhood, a notoriously liberal area by the way, before they try and spread their political ideology to the rest of the country. 

 the grit