Archive for the ‘French’ Category

Bat out of hell, bite me world!

January 29, 2007

Hi Brit,

I was in a bit of a nostalgic mood this afternoon, so I put “Bat Out of Hell” on and cranked it up.  Man, what perfect timing!  Global Warming, extremest Muslim terrorists, liberals, Jane Fonda, Britney’s beaver, Big Brother racism, Hillary Clinton, the United Nations, President Bush, AlGore, Iraq, Iran, nuclear bombs, blood in the streets, and the end of the world; screw it all!  So, take a few minutes, put the CD on, crank it up and sing along!

Bat Out Of Hell lyrics

The sirens are screaming and the fires are howling

Way down in the valley tonight
There’s a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye
And a blade shining oh so bright
There’s evil in the air and there’s thunder in the sky
And a killer’s on the bloodshot streets
And down in the tunnel where the deadly are rising
Oh I swear I saw a young boy
Down in the gutter
He was starting to foam in the heat
Oh Baby you’re the only thing in this whole world
that’s pure and good and right
And wherever you are and wherever you go
There’s always gonna be some light
But i gotta get out
I gotta break it out now
Before the final crack of dawn
So we gotta make the most of our one night together
When it’s over you know
We’ll both be so alone
Like a bat out of hell
I’ll be gone when the morning comes
When the night is over
Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone gone gone
Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone when the morning comes
But when the day is done
And the sun goes down
And the moonlight’s shining through

Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven

I’ll come crawling on back to you
I’m gonna hit the highway like a battering ram

On a silver black phantom bike

When the metal is hot and the engine is hungry

And we’re all about to see the light

Nothing ever grows in this rotten old hole

Everything is stunted and lost

And nothing really rocks

And nothing really rolls

And nothing’s ever worth the cost

And I know that I’m damned if I never get out

And maybe I’m damned if I do

But with every other beat I got left in my heart

You know I’d rather be damned with you

If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

Dancing through the night with you

If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

Gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

If Gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

Dancing through the night

Dancing through the night

Dancing through the night with you
Oh Baby you’re the only thing in this whole world

     that’s pure and good and right

And wherever you are and wherever you go

There’s always gonna be some light

But I gotta get out

I gotta break it out now

Before the final crack of dawn

So we gotta make the most of our one night together

When it’s over you know

We’ll both be so alone

Like a bat out of hell

I’ll be gone when the morning comes

When the night is over

Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone gone gone

Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone when the morning comes

But when the day is done

And the sun goes down

And the moonlight’s shining through

Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven

I’ll come crawling on back to you

Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven

I’ll come crawling on back to you

I can see myself tearing up the road

Faster than any other boy has ever gone

And my skin is raw but my soul is ripe

And no one’s gonna stop me now

I gotta make my escape

But I can’t stop thinking of you

And I never see the sudden curve until it’s way too late

I never see the sudden curve till it’s way too late

Then I’m dying on the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun

Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike

And I think somebody somewhere is tolling a bell

And the last thing I see is my heart

Still beating

Breaking out of my body

And flying away

Like a bat out of hell

Then I’m dying at the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun

Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike

And I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell

And the last thing I see is my heart

Still beating

Still beating

Breaking out of my body and flying away

Like a bat out of hell

Thanks Jim; thanks Meat!  Still love it; still a fan.

the Grit

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Will the madness never end?

January 25, 2007

Hi Brit,

As I’ve told you before, the world is rushing headlong toward some horrible fate, and here’s more proof: Gnome, gnome on derange.  I, for one, am outraged!  These miscreants must be tracked down and forced to suffer a fitting punishment.  In this case, that would be having to glue all of the smashed gnomes back together.  If they work fast, they may even get through in time for the world to end in 2012.  For the non-guilty among you, as you go through life keep that old saying in mind, “save a gnome, bash the French.”

the Grit

Speaking of WWIII

January 9, 2007

Hi Brit,

Besides the growing tension between Russia and Germany, it looks like trouble is also brewing on the other side of the world: Japan upgrades its defence agency.  That’s comforting news.  Let’s see, who’s missing from the sequel?  I wonder if the French have started drawing up surrender plans?

the Grit

France, stupid France.

January 5, 2007

Hi Brit,

This should amuse you:

Chirac slams Iraq war as boost to terrorism

and

Al-Qaeda calls for Iraq-style jihad in Somalia

On one hand we have France bad mouthing the US for the war in Iraq, something they didn’t like because they were making too much money from ripping off the oil for food program and selling weapons and nuclear technology to Saddam, and on the other hand, we have the conflict in Somalia, which I’m pretty sure is France’s fault somehow, where they also don’t think anyone should get involved (especially them) producing the exact same results.  Of course, considering how poorly they treat their own Muslim population, I guess they have to talk big to distract world attention from their own bigoted falling apart crap country.  Personally, I think Chirac should spend his time figuring out how to stop the, seemingly, endless riots in France instead of wasting his time offering poorly informed speculations on global affairs.  Hey Jacques, can you hear that rasping sound?  Have you figured out that it’s your poor sharpening the blade on the guillotine?

the Grit

A little help here, Brit!

December 31, 2006

Hi Brit,

I just stumbled across this, Britons ‘not ready to drink less’, and I must say that I am both confused and angered.  On one hand, the article doesn’t give any details on your drinking 24 hours a day laws, although I am impressed that y’all can hold that much alcohol.  On the other hand, it seems to imply that you government thinks y’all are the only ones who like to drink, which I take as a personal and national slight.  On the gripping hand, said news story also suggests that Europeans aren’t constantly drunk, which is totally at odds with most all of the news out of the EU at large.  It would be most helpful if you translated.

the Grit

The French are in it again.

December 31, 2006

Hi Brit,

This story, French space agency to publish UFO archive online, seems to be a confluence of different bits of weirdness. 

Obviously, it’s a sign of the end of the world.  First, just the fact that France has a space agency is enough to make me start work on an underground shelter.  Second, that the French, who have been blind to the truth about so many things, are now starting to believe in UFOs is, to say the least, scary.

On the other hand, I got the link to that story from my usually unreliable source, along with an explanation of UFO stuff.

“It’s long been known to all major governments of the world that so called UFOs actually are space craft driven by visitors from another star system.  The problem is that the little alien twits can only process communications at very slow rates.  Thus, we have been talking to them for 60 years and are just now getting past ‘Hi.  How are you.  I’m doing fine, thanks for asking.’

Communication with the alien snails can only be accomplished through low frequency radio signals, which transmit information slowly.  That is the connection to the French, as the Eiffel Tower was originally built as a low frequency antenna.  It was replaced in the 60s with the ELF Grid (Extremely Low Frequency) under the pretext of maintaining communications with our nuclear submarines while they were submerged.”

I suspect he/she/it may have started celebrating New Years early, but then again …

the Grit

Hillary Clinton snubs French candidate ?!

December 18, 2006

Hi Brit,

Here’s an amazing bit of news.  Clinton and Royal – Sharing ambitions not handshakes?  It would seem that the liberal candidate from France is too much of an embarrassment for Hillary to be associated with.  This is odd, seeing as how our liberals, including the Clintons, are constantly harping about how much Europe, that is France, hates the US now that our President refuses to kiss the proffered Old World behind.  The mantra is always that we need a Democrat in office so we, once again, will be loved by one and all around the globe.  Yet, Senator Clinton, who may be President Clinton in a few years, can’t take an hour to feed Royal, who may be President Royal by the time Hilary takes office, some lunch and get in some cheek kissing practice?  I guess it’s easier to talk about these things than to actually pucker up.

the Grit

Surrender 24

December 12, 2006

Hi Brit,

I finally found time to check out the France 24 website.  It’s really cool and useful.  http://www.france24.com/  Y’all should bookmark this one.

I particularly enjoyed the translation section.  It seems you can find out how to say, “we surrender,” in every known language, including Ebonics and sign language.  One can never tell when that information is going to come in handy.  The cooking section also deserves special mention.  Really, where else can you find 842 different ways to cook snail.  Look for the link, “Snails, chicken in a shell.”

Oh, and don’t forget to check out the classified section, where the French Government is offering end of year prices on everything from nuclear weapons, to berets.  It looks like they are running a special on their own mothers.  Also of interest to those of you who that have bribed a French offical for the secret password, there are still a few cheap Oil for Food contracts up for bid.

While you’re there, don’t forget to down load Jacques Chirac’s Country – Western rendition of “Little American Pigs, How We Hate You So.”  I’m having special singing Christmas cards made up which play it when opened.

I know this site is going to keep you riveted to your computer screen, but please, please, don’t forget to swing back here every now and then.

the Grit