Archive for the ‘farming’ Category

The Vault reveals another sign…

February 9, 2007

Hi Brit,

I hate to start the day with doomsday news, but this story, ‘Doomsday vault’ to resist global warming effects, has to be explored.  Making the assumption that the Norwegians aren’t completely insane, this effort is obviously preparation for the exodus prior to the end of the world in 2012.  Of course, these seeds are probably going to be Mars bound.  If you need proof of the connection, then consider this, “The entry to the vault, which will shoot out of the mountainside, will be a narrow triangular portal made of cement and steel, illuminated with artwork that changes according to the Arctic light.”  Compare that to the back of the Great Seal of the United States, designed by Free Masons.  Then, consider that the Vault contains two chambers connected by sloping tunnels, much like the Great Pyramid at Giza, built by the people who started the Free Masons.

the Grit

Ethanol, evil, evil ethanol

January 28, 2007

Hi Brit,

As I’m sure you know, our environmentalist wackos have pushed our political wackos into pushing, by law, the use of ethanol combined with gasoline as an “environmentally friendly” and “anti Global Warming” fuel.  As I always figured, being a farmer and a heavy consumer of distilled spirits, growing crops to turn into combustible fuel is stupid, The new gold rush: how farmers are set to fuel America’s future.  Besides the inefficiency involved with producing this “green” fuel, it also, obviously, reduces the available food supply.  The first signs of the damage this will do are in Mexico, A Culinary and Cultural Staple in Crisis.  You should note that, even if they switch from using corn as the base for ethanol production, there is only so much good farming land, but an ever increasing number of mouths to feed.  The only acres left to plant rest under forests so …

the Grit

Cloning

January 11, 2007

Hi Grit

The stcalf.JPGory of the cloned calf reached us yesterday. It also transpired that this is a regular occurence in the UK and that we are already eating cloned animals, the embryos for which are kindly supplied by your country. However, what might be disturbing is that there is no record kept regarding these animals. Therefore, we have no idea how many are being bred, slaughtered or served on our Sunday plate. In itself this may not be a problem, but it does raise the question – how do we know that the human equivalent is not underway? Personally, I would hate to walk down the street and find myself coming towards me from the opposite direction.

Of course, the other problem is how we know that by eating these animals, that we are not going to become a clone breeding ground. I do of course study my stomach each morning, just to make sure that the slight excess is due to liquid refreshment and not something more sinister out of “the alien.”

the Brit

Wait until the cows come home

January 10, 2007

Hi Brit,

I just herd from my usually unreliable source.  It seems that another plot is ahoof.

Clone farming has arrived  Without going into the background of secret DOD (Department of Defense) cloning techniques, I felt compelled to tell you about the danger represented in this story.  You might note that the animals mentioned are “giant” cows.  This fact is at the heart of the Government’s plan.  Another fact you should be informed of is that, in a hidden biological warfare lab disguised as a cheese factory in Vermont, a genetically engineered variety of mad cow disease is being stockpiled.  Thus, once these giant cows are common around the world, a simple aerosol spray can be used by agents to cause the bovine behemoths to rampage through the country side causing widespread damage and disruption to our enemies while we maintain plausible denyability.”

Oh, just think about the problems caused by the giant cow pies scattered everywhere!

the Grit

Happy cows are good cows.

January 1, 2007

Happy New Year Brit,

And this was a bit of good news to wake up to, Gene-engineered cattle resist mad cow disease: study.  I’m not sure if I told you, but at one time I tried my hand at raising cows here on the farm.  It was far from a good idea.  For some reason, the cows were usually mad about something.  Generally, this was caused by their desire to be on the other side of the fence.  I should point out that most fences loose out in a contest with half a ton of beef.  So, I can certainly see why ranchers would be in favor of genetically engineering cattle that are predisposed to being happy.

the Grit