Archive for the ‘end of world’ Category

Radiation and a big rock

February 22, 2007

Hi Brit,

Two of the most dangerous things in the universe are asteroids and radiation.  At the moment, the UN has just saved us from one, and has been asked to save from the other in the not too distant future.  I present you with two items of news:

U.N. watchdog unveils new symbol for radiation risk

U.N. urged to take action on asteroid threat

It appears that on 04/13/2036, a hunk of space rock, named Apophis, has a 1 in 45,000 chance of making a big mess of our lovely planet.  Of course, I don’t care as the end of the world is in 2012.  Still, if that prediction happens to be wrong, the Big A is worth doing something about.  Even though it’s pretty good odds in favor of a miss, looking into ways of rigging the game for our side seems reasonable.  However, as the other story tells, it took the UN 5 years to do this:

radiation-symbol1.jpg

This leads me to believe that, while the United Nations might be able to handle a severe case of hemorrhoids in 29 years, stopping an asteroid in that time frame may be a bit beyond their capabilities.

the Grit

Conspiracy

February 19, 2007

Hi Grit

Sometimes I have this theory that the whole world is built on conspiracy because it seems that throughout the ages almost any major event, particularly a disaster or catastrophe, generates a plethora of conspiracy theories aimed at questioning the official versions of events.

Last night (18th February), I watched a programme on the BBC, which was about the conspiracy theories surrounding the events of 9/11. Whilst there might appear to be justification for some of the theories outlined, others to me were so bizarre as to be incomprehensible. To suggest that the twin towers fell as a result of demolition when there is clear visual evidence of planes flying into them, is sheer idiocy. Then, they add to this the (so-called) fact that the government destroyed a nearby building because it contained a CIA office which held evidence of this tragedy being a US government plot. Others were theorising that the passengers of flight 93 were abducted by government agents and that the plane did not crash. Yet more tried to suggest that the plot was known six months earlier, because a film was produced which had a similar story-line, only as is the case with films, that had a happier ending. I am actually surprised that no-one bought Tom Clancy into one of these mad theories, because in one of his books a passenger plane is flown into the White House, killing the President.

Of course, the US is not alone in this pursuit of conspiracy theories. Here in the UK, despite it being ten years ago, the conspiracy theories surrounding the death of the late Princess Diana still continue to flourish. These range from those who suggest that it was a government backed plot to kill the princess in order to avoid her marriage to a Middle-East family, which they felt might tarnish the Royal lineage, to those who believe that the Royal Family themselves were behind the accident.

Of course, conspiracies are not solely restricted to tragedies. One only has to look at the pro-global warming proponents conspiracy theories about denialists, or the “alien” theories surrounding crop circles, to see that whenever there is a major phenomena, the word “conspiracy” is one of the first to follow official explanations.

One has to wonder about the reasons and conditions that lead peoples minds to turn so readily towards conspiracy as an explanation. Whilst it is true that, particularly in politics on both sides of the Atlantic, there have been many political cover-ups and total lies, which make believing anything that comes out of a politician’s mouth difficult to believe, the vast majority of these are proven to be lies within months, if not sooner.

Perhaps it is the enormity and shock of these events that lead people to automatically question their occurance. In the two cases mentioned above, the events themselves were beyond the perception and belief of the ordinary member of the public. Such is the depth of the disbelief that it defies all reason and logic. Similarly, there is a lack of belief in a system or society structure that allows such events to occur and it affects the trust we have in that society. Thus, in order to fill the void of understanding and comprehension, perhaps we all look to ourselves to provide an explanation that is equally enormous and outrageous in its foundation.

Personally, I have my own conspiracy theory. I believe that there is a conspiracy between the conspiracy theorists to stop both lies and truth being believed.

the Brit

Polish invasion of England complete

February 16, 2007

Help, I need an exit boat! You will recall from past posts Grit that England is experiencing high levels of immigration, particularly from the former eastern European states. It appears from an article in one of today’s newspapers, that it has now become a total takeover. A local council in the Midlands has been surrendered to the Polish people and no doubt other areas of the country will quickly follow.

You may wonder what is causing me such concern. The answer can be found here. The council in question has put up local diversion signs – in Polish. Despite the fact that it is rumoured that the local Polish population is only 6%, there is obviously something the council officers know that we don’t. Similarly, although officers at central government state the signs are illegal, is this just a ploy to lull us into a false sense of security?

I will be watching developments.

the Brit

PS: Jeśli otóż Polski słowa ukazywać się w mój poczty, you will know that I have have been captured.

China, space potatoes, and the end of the world.

February 13, 2007

Hi Brit,

How many old science fiction movies have you seen that start with something mutating due to space radiation, then eating a good deal of the Earth?  Well, in this case the Chinese are eating the mutants, space potatoes that is!  Purple and sweet, these other worldly spuds come from seeds that were zapped by radiation aboard a Chinese rocket ship.  Now the question is, when will the tater monsters turn on their glutinous masters?  2012, of course, as demonstrated by the fact that potatoes originated in South America, where the Mayans lived!

the Grit

The Vault reveals another sign…

February 9, 2007

Hi Brit,

I hate to start the day with doomsday news, but this story, ‘Doomsday vault’ to resist global warming effects, has to be explored.  Making the assumption that the Norwegians aren’t completely insane, this effort is obviously preparation for the exodus prior to the end of the world in 2012.  Of course, these seeds are probably going to be Mars bound.  If you need proof of the connection, then consider this, “The entry to the vault, which will shoot out of the mountainside, will be a narrow triangular portal made of cement and steel, illuminated with artwork that changes according to the Arctic light.”  Compare that to the back of the Great Seal of the United States, designed by Free Masons.  Then, consider that the Vault contains two chambers connected by sloping tunnels, much like the Great Pyramid at Giza, built by the people who started the Free Masons.

the Grit

It’s all starting to make too much sense!

February 6, 2007

Hi Brit,

In my continuing quest to understand and document the signs and portents leading to the end of the world in 2012, I have just discovered a clue which is making everything just a little too clear, Wal-Mart launches movie, TV download service.  Now don’t get me wrong, I love Wal*Mart; I shop there at least three times a week; A good many of the employees know me by name.  However, when I read this story I had a vision, a very real and clear vision, in which in December of 2012, Wal*Mart adds one more product line, their Super Stores reach critical mass, collapse into black holes and devour the Earth.  The scary part is that, the final Doomsday Product Line, is a series of Brit & Grit personal hygiene accessories.

the Grit

A serious sign, a sad portent!

February 1, 2007

Hi Brit,

In my continuing effort to convince you that the world will end in 2012, I present another, and very sad, piece of evidence: Beach Boys’ Legal Battle Continues.  Sad to say, if the Beach Boys, a shining ray of cheer and hope for the world, can succumb to evil in this way, what hope is there for the rest of us?

the Grit

Look out! The light bulb police are coming!

January 31, 2007

Hi Brit,

Besides being a sign of the end of the world, it’s also one of the most ridiculous things I’ve read lately, California may ban conventional lightbulbs by 2012.  (notice the target date)  Of course, since this will leave the poor in the dark, the State will, no doubt, pass out the free bulbs along with free condoms.  However, considering the eco-freak attitude of California’s population, this also proves that they are either poorly informed or insane.  You have read the packages on those fluorescent bulbs, haven’t you?  They contain mercury.  That is, they contain it until they break.  You can’t even throw them in the trash, least they contaminate the local landfill.  So, between all the extra hazardous material clean up teams, the cost of special disposal on a grand scale, and the expense of a light bulb police force to make certain no one smuggles an evil incandescent bulb into the state, I’m not even sure it will save energy.

the Grit

Bat out of hell, bite me world!

January 29, 2007

Hi Brit,

I was in a bit of a nostalgic mood this afternoon, so I put “Bat Out of Hell” on and cranked it up.  Man, what perfect timing!  Global Warming, extremest Muslim terrorists, liberals, Jane Fonda, Britney’s beaver, Big Brother racism, Hillary Clinton, the United Nations, President Bush, AlGore, Iraq, Iran, nuclear bombs, blood in the streets, and the end of the world; screw it all!  So, take a few minutes, put the CD on, crank it up and sing along!

Bat Out Of Hell lyrics

The sirens are screaming and the fires are howling

Way down in the valley tonight
There’s a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye
And a blade shining oh so bright
There’s evil in the air and there’s thunder in the sky
And a killer’s on the bloodshot streets
And down in the tunnel where the deadly are rising
Oh I swear I saw a young boy
Down in the gutter
He was starting to foam in the heat
Oh Baby you’re the only thing in this whole world
that’s pure and good and right
And wherever you are and wherever you go
There’s always gonna be some light
But i gotta get out
I gotta break it out now
Before the final crack of dawn
So we gotta make the most of our one night together
When it’s over you know
We’ll both be so alone
Like a bat out of hell
I’ll be gone when the morning comes
When the night is over
Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone gone gone
Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone when the morning comes
But when the day is done
And the sun goes down
And the moonlight’s shining through

Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven

I’ll come crawling on back to you
I’m gonna hit the highway like a battering ram

On a silver black phantom bike

When the metal is hot and the engine is hungry

And we’re all about to see the light

Nothing ever grows in this rotten old hole

Everything is stunted and lost

And nothing really rocks

And nothing really rolls

And nothing’s ever worth the cost

And I know that I’m damned if I never get out

And maybe I’m damned if I do

But with every other beat I got left in my heart

You know I’d rather be damned with you

If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

Dancing through the night with you

If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

Gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

If Gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned

Dancing through the night

Dancing through the night

Dancing through the night with you
Oh Baby you’re the only thing in this whole world

     that’s pure and good and right

And wherever you are and wherever you go

There’s always gonna be some light

But I gotta get out

I gotta break it out now

Before the final crack of dawn

So we gotta make the most of our one night together

When it’s over you know

We’ll both be so alone

Like a bat out of hell

I’ll be gone when the morning comes

When the night is over

Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone gone gone

Like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone when the morning comes

But when the day is done

And the sun goes down

And the moonlight’s shining through

Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven

I’ll come crawling on back to you

Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven

I’ll come crawling on back to you

I can see myself tearing up the road

Faster than any other boy has ever gone

And my skin is raw but my soul is ripe

And no one’s gonna stop me now

I gotta make my escape

But I can’t stop thinking of you

And I never see the sudden curve until it’s way too late

I never see the sudden curve till it’s way too late

Then I’m dying on the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun

Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike

And I think somebody somewhere is tolling a bell

And the last thing I see is my heart

Still beating

Breaking out of my body

And flying away

Like a bat out of hell

Then I’m dying at the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun

Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike

And I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell

And the last thing I see is my heart

Still beating

Still beating

Breaking out of my body and flying away

Like a bat out of hell

Thanks Jim; thanks Meat!  Still love it; still a fan.

the Grit

Another Olympics, another sign

January 28, 2007

Hi Brit,

Sorry, but I’ve got bad news for you.  It looks like Blair doesn’t have a ticket to the secret moon base, London 2012 ‘to be greenest ever’, else why waste all that effort?  Or, could this just be a ploy to divert attention from the coming global doom?  I wonder how many can squeeze in up there?

the Grit

Another doughtnut, another sign.

January 26, 2007

Hi Brit,

Sorry that the end of the world keeps coming up, but, things are what they are.  This time we are presented with a most unusual portent, Scientist Develops Caffeinated Doughnuts.  While this is, not only a stupid idea, it’s also, obviously, a sign that the world will end all too soon.  Really, how much caffeine can the world withstand?  Of course, I thought cell phones were a bad investment…

I would, however, like to know if the ground breaking research behind this circle of energetic doom was funded by the Government. 

the Grit

IPCC throws in the towel!

January 25, 2007

Hi Brit,

Great news!  The IPCC (International Panel on Climate Change, the UN’s lap dog in the Global Warming scheme) has waved the white flag, Warming to raise seas for 1,000 years: U.N. draft.  It now seems that, regardless of what we do, the Global Warming fanatics have decided that it won’t be enough and everyone is going to die.  What a load off my mind!  Now we can instruct our Governments to ignore the twits, save trillions of dollars, and get on with our lives.  Of course, since the IPCC is going to release the report in Paris, France, there may be some doubts as to its accuracy, leaving us stuck with spending lives and treasure trying to solve a pretend problem by politically correct means.  Drat!

There is a funny bit in the article that makes it worth reading:

“The study, by a panel of 2,500 scientists who advise the United Nations, also says that dust from volcanic eruptions and air pollution seems to have braked warming in recent decades by reflecting sunlight back into space, scientific sources said.”

So, for those of you who buy into the Global Warming scam, rip those catalytic converters off your cars and start burning your trash in a barrel in the back yard.  Pollute to save the planet!  Of course, this also means that you can thank the Environmentalist Movement for Global Warming.

the Grit

Will the madness never end?

January 25, 2007

Hi Brit,

As I’ve told you before, the world is rushing headlong toward some horrible fate, and here’s more proof: Gnome, gnome on derange.  I, for one, am outraged!  These miscreants must be tracked down and forced to suffer a fitting punishment.  In this case, that would be having to glue all of the smashed gnomes back together.  If they work fast, they may even get through in time for the world to end in 2012.  For the non-guilty among you, as you go through life keep that old saying in mind, “save a gnome, bash the French.”

the Grit

End of the world – the robots are coming

January 22, 2007

Hi Grit

I think the EU and UK health services must know more about the coming end of the world than they are telling us. Scientists, many from various parts of the UK are well on the way to developing robot nurses, which they anticipate will be in action on the wards within three years, two years before the end of the world.

These robots will be able to dispense drugs (presumably whether you want them or not), lead visitors to patients (even if you don’t want to see them), mop up spillages (keep your whiskey hidden!) and remotely monitor the patient, for example take temperature (not that it will rise as there will no longer be a pretty nurse to look at).

I assume these robots will, initially at least, take instruction from medical staff. In which case, we must make sure that they watch what they say. The term “I think that patient is dead funny” could lead to robotic euthanasia, or “he was legless when he came in” unwanted amputation.

Is the fact that these tin beings are being introduced two years before 2012 significant I wonder?

the Brit

Even the weekends are getting warmer, Globally speaking.

January 20, 2007

Hi Brit,

I can’t even get away from Global Warming on the weekend.  Don’t politicians, scientists, and bureaucrats usually take Saturday off?  Anyway, we’ve been swamped with it this morning:

Alaska to get British-style temperatures – study

U.N. panel to step up warnings on climate

Global warming dissenters few at U.S. weather meeting

giving us a trifecta of hot stories to discuss. 

OK, the first one is actually kind of funny, in a sad clown kind of way.  First we find this, “The British experiment used computer projections to plot the global climate from 1920 to 2080 — long enough for the results to be statistically significant.”  Sorry Mister Reporter dude, but computer projections can never be statistically significant in proving Global Warming, any more than the number of news stories is evidence of anything except how hard the media is trying to push this down our throats.  Second, if we assume the computer model is less biased than the media and is actually correct, where’s the bad news?  Don’t y’all only report bad news?  Well, it seems that way.  In this case, and feel free to correct me on this Brit, I’ve been told that the climate in Britain is pretty dang nice.  It would be fantastic if Alaska turned into a giant England.  We could squeeze an extra hundred million or so people into the country.  Not to mention how much cheaper it would be to get to all the minerals and oil up there.

On to mocking the UN story.  It looks like the lab coated UN employees have had to take a step or two back.  While they have up graded the language from “likely” to “very likely” that people have caused Global Warming, that’s just a fancy way of saying they still can’t prove it.  You’ll also note that had to drop all the “end of the Earth” climate change scare tactics.  And, as seems to happen frequently with the liberal press, the story ends with an outrageous lie about President Bush, accusing him of pulling the US out of the Kyoto Treaty.  As anyone should know, the US never ratified that treaty as President Clinton didn’t bother to send it to the Senate, thus, Bush couldn’t pull us out since we were never in.  While crap reporting like this usually ticks me off to no end, this time, since it helps show the pervasive bias in the media, both generally and about global Warming in particular, I’ll say thanks to Correspondent Doyle for helping to make my case.

Finally, we come to the article about the American Meteorological Society’s annual meeting and the lack of members voicing Global Warming doubts.  You’re surprised Mr. Stoddard?  I posted a bit about threats to members of this group who don’t bow to the politically correct stance and embrace Global Warming as Devinne Truth.  What we should be looking for is honest scientific opinion, not statements made under duress.  Of course, in that atmosphere, things might not go the way desired by the liberal press.  Can’t have that, now can we?

the Grit

What a let down!

January 20, 2007

Hi Brit,

I thought I’d hit pay dirt in my continuing search for signs of the end of the world when this popped up on my feed aggregater, Start sex on the right key with musical condoms.  You’ve got to admit that’s well worth investigating.  However, sad to say, all they’re doing is putting a mood music CD in the box.  Oh well, the quest continues…

the Grit

Another year, another portent.

January 17, 2007

Hi Brit,

Here we go!  Climate change to dominate Davos meeting, where the world’s high and mighty will party hardy and decide the fate of we tiny folk for the coming year.  I notice that there are no climate scientists on the list, while there are some unnamed rock stars.  Well, when you’re making decisions that have the potential to kill billions of people, you get the best advice possible.  Wait, I just noticed that they are named, Bono and Peter Gabriel.  Well, that’s a load off my mind.  Both of those fellows are world renowned for their knowledge of climate change and Middle East affairs, and I’m certain they will be giving round the clock lectures on those subjects.  Either that, or, it could be they are on the guest list to get hot chicks and drugs for the fat cats.  With that in mind, I for one will sleep well tonight, knowing that the end of the world is right on track.

the Grit

Why scientists should stick to what they know.

January 17, 2007

Hi Brit,

This is something that has been stuck in my throat for years, Nuclear, climate perils push Doomsday Clock ahead.  These twits have been wrong for sixty years now, and still haven’t figured out that, while they may know how to design a nuclear bomb, they can’t find their collective ass with both collective hands when it comes to anything outside their extremely narrow area of expertise.  Now, besides dreaming that they are politicians, historians, generals, sociologists, head doctors, diplomats, and gods, they’ve added climatologists to their doctored resumes.  I’ve known plenty of scientists and engineers during my life and, while I respect their opinions in their field, I also know, that they don’t know, as a general rule, squat about anything else any more than the average person.  To me this is even worse than actors thinking they know how to solve the world’s problems, because these people are educated enough that they should know their limitations.  Of course, I noticed that one thing remains the same with the science elite, they know how to beg for money.  Check out their site at:

http://www.thebulletin.org/

Notice that right from the start they have their hand out?  My advice, stick to what you know.  Quit wasting your time on things outside your realm of knowledge and go figure out fusion.

Sorry.  I suspect that was lingering resentment from college where one of my science professors wasted three days of class explaining why global Communism was the best course for the world to take.

the Grit

More evidence, the end of the world draws near

January 17, 2007

Hi Brit,

If this sign isn’t obvious proof that the world is wrapping up unfinished business, then I doubt I’ll be able to convince you.  Animal party bans mouse poison in parliament.  OK, I know some people think that mice are people too, although think may be too strong a word, but are they now including the fleas and disease these critters carry in their delusional world view?  And when they catch the tiny beasts in human traps, who are they going to inflict them on by granting them freedom?  I can hardly wait to see if they introduce legislation to build public housing for rodents, and put them on the welfare rolls.  Of course, given the lethargic pace of Government projects, they’ll need to act quickly to be finished before 2012.

the Grit

Sex life to ex-life

January 16, 2007

Hey Grit

Scientists have decided that it is possible neanderthal man did not die out as a result of fighting. They now believe that too much loving that might have caused their extinction. I knew it made you tires, but this is taking it a bit far isn’t it?

Do you think we ought to warn the permiscious society of this event?

the Brit