Archive for the ‘Cuba’ Category

Sting in Cuba, but why?

January 20, 2007

Hi Brit,

You may have noticed in the news that Sting, the singer, is taking a trip to Cuba, STING HONES HIS SALSA TECHNIQUE ON A VISIT TO CUBA, and, like any rational person, asked yourself, why?  Well, my usually unreliable source sent me this by way of explanation:

“As you should know, Castro’s health is finally failing after months of bombardment from a secret new CIA satellite weapon.  However, as the Company’s black project weapons have out paced their intelligence collection capabilities, verification of Castro’s health requires infiltration of a human agent, or a semblance thereof.  Sting VI, the one in Cuba, is the latest in android technology, developed over the years by various Government agencies for use as surveillance and assignation agents in situations too dangerous for human employees.  The “Sting” cover has been propped up by the Agency over the years at the inflated cost of $324 million, necessary due to some programing and manufacturing errors which made the original model unfit to meet the criteria for its role as an entertainer without significant bribes being spread around.  The only question remaining is whether “Sting” will be given the order to terminate Castro if the space based weapon is not working fast enough.”

Well, it’s about time they unleashed the killer robots.

the Grit