Archive for the ‘Christmas’ Category

Sex on the beach

December 24, 2006

Hi Grit

I found this story from the press association.

Pensioners in Lancashire can enjoy some sex on the beach this Christmas, thanks to alcopops seized by police from under-age drinkers.

More than 1,000 bottles and cans of illicit booze were taken from teenagers in a crackdown by police in Kirkham, Lancashire. Officers have now been handing out their haul to senior citizens living in sheltered housing in the town

It looks as though some people are going to have a very merry Christmas

the brit  

Santa in a hard hat

December 21, 2006

Hi Grit

Seems Santa is coming under threat this year, from all directions. Over here in a large shopping centre in a town called Paisley, Santa has been forced to wear a hard hat. The reason for this is that he was being pelted by missiles from an upper level of the centre.rudulph-1.JPG

The missiles were – Mince pies! You don’t think it was Rudoph getting hungry do you?

the Brit

Buss driver almost casualty in war on Christmas

December 20, 2006

Hi Brit,

Here’s another terrorist attack by the Christmas haters. 

Santa Hat-Wearing Bus Driver Allowed to Keep Job
Ken Mott (Newsday)

A Santa hat-wearing school bus driver on Long Island, N.Y., has won the right to keep wearing his festive headgear, Newsday reported.

Kenneth Mott, who keeps a long, white beard, almost lost his job after a parent called the bus management to complain. Mott, who has worn the red and white hat every Christmas since he started with the Bauman & Sons bus company five years ago, was ordered to stop wearing the hat because a child didn’t believe in Santa Claus and was bothered by the hat.

“I said, ‘What, are you kidding me?'” Mott recalled. “I thought it was a big joke,” Newsday reported.

However, after Mott told other parents he might be fired for wearing the hat, supervisors changed their stance and said he could continue to wear the hat.

Updated: December 19, 2006, 7:55 am


While this is, of course, ridiculous, it does give you a chance to compare your Santa beard to that guy’s.

the Grit

Another shot in the war on Christmas

December 20, 2006

Hi Brit,

The war on Christmas is still hot, and this time they’re taking a shot at Santa himself.

 ‘Santa Claus does not exist’ school tells stunned kids

I’ve always heard that all’s fair in love and war, but this is going too far.  Isn’t deliberately targeting children an act of terrorism?  What’s next, leaving Santa poisoned cookies?

the Grit

Christmas factoids

December 16, 2006

Here are some interesting Factoids for Christmas.

1) Santa as we see him dressed now was originally created by Haddon Sundblom who asked him to help in a Coca-Cola advert in 1933 and Santa has been around ever since.

2) Rudolph, the red-nosed Reindeer, was born in 1939, found by Robert.L. May who asked him to show people the way to his store. Mr May gave Rudolph to Santa during one blizzard winter as his red nose helped guide Santa’s sleigh on his difficult journey.

3) Santa’s elves are all the children of Gryla and Leppaludi. They are very inventive and have created a special toy-making machine that creates and wrap the presents that children want.

the Brit

Christmas factoids 2

December 14, 2006

santa.JPGSome facts I have just gleaned about Christmas.

1) The UK is today holding its first “organic” Santa competition. The winner will be judged on the quality of the beard, size of the belly, strength of the laugh and ruddy cheeks. What a shame I did not know about this before. I could have become the UK’s first official “organic” Santa.

2) Does anyone know how Norad tracks Santa? Well apparently Rudolph’s red nose emits a heat signature and this allows Santa’s journey to be tracked by satellite. (Click here to see the journey).

3) Santa’s sleigh travels faster than a commercial jet.

the Brit

Iran’s President – mullah madness

December 11, 2006

Hi Brit,

It seems that this man,mahmoud_ahmadinejad_wideweb__470×3640.jpg, Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has decided that the Holocaust never happened.  First, I’d like to know why anyone cares about the opinion of a leader from a country that’s too poor to afford a tie or an electric shaver for their top guy.  Second, how did this loon get elected president of anything larger than a neighborhood committee?  Third, when did the Klan vote in Iran get so strong?

In related news, Ahmadinejad has also announced that this man, papaeast-s.jpg, instead of being Pope, ran a Blessing-gram franchise in Atlanta.  These guys,

beetles.jpg, were traveling pest control workers. 

is a two foot high model hidden in the White House basement, and this,
is actually a flaming chariot pulled across the sky every day by flying horses.

He does, however, believe that this man,
 is real, and has issued orders to have him assassinated.

the Grit

Christmas gift for the ladies

December 9, 2006

Hey Gritbaileys.jpg,

Talking about expensive christmas gifts, here is one for the ladies. In one of our local supermarkets, (which are meant to promote cheaper prices) they are offering a gift, which comprises of a mini-miniature, (yes it IS smaller than miniature!) bottle of Irish cream liquor with a cheap glass. Packaged this way, the cost per litre for the liquor is £80 ($160).  

Now, you might not consider that expensive. However, when you consider that you can buy a litre of that same liquor (without the cheap glass admittedly) at under £9 ($18), this puts a very different complexion on it. I appreciate that there are economies of scale, but don’t you think someone is creaming off excess profits here?

the brit


Christmas in the pink

December 9, 2006

No Grit, I am not turning into a naturist for Christmas. This is a far more bizarre story than that, and it is to do with family.

Up to now there had been some talk of my partner and I spending Christmas eve and Night at hertree.JPG daughters home. Reluctantly (me prefering my own home at Christmas) I said I would think about it. In an effort to persuade me of the benefits, I was invited to the daughter’s house to see the wonderful decorations. Dutifully, I agreed and off we set. Guess what I was faced with as I entered the lounge…. That’s right, a pink tree. And, as if that was not bad enough, all of the decorations were pink as well, all over the house!

My partner said that it was only downstairs after all. Oh no it wasn’t. To colour co-ordinate the whole house, the daughter had gone on a “pink” spree. Pink bedclothes, with matching cushions and drapes in the bedroom (where we were expected to sleep); Pink picture frames replaced the wooden ones in the hall and stairway and there was even a pink fluffy animal toilet roll holder. I felt like Barbie’s Ken.

Guess where we are not spending Christmas

the Brit


Another Christmas Adventure

December 8, 2006

Hi Brit,

Well, another day, another adventure.  Since my wife is out of town this week, it has fallen to me to purchase the tree.  The Christmas tree that is, along with all the other evergreen decorations.  Her list includes: 1 tree 7 to 9 foot tall, 150 feet of pine branch garland, and two wreaths that will fit on our doors. 

I was going to go yesterday, but the wind was a bit much (20 – 25 MPH gusts) to be out in, so I got moving early this morning, hopped in the truck, and headed for the nursery my wife told me to shop at.  I promptly got lost.  Since I had been there once four years ago, I didn’t see the need for directions.  I was blind.

The place is out in the middle of nowhere, in a maze of narrow twisty back roads.  It all looks alike.  There are no signs.  Eventually, I found it by random chance.

It’s a nice business.  Someone immediately offered to help me.  I picked out a tree and all the other stuff, and realized I had forgotten my checkbook.  They were kind enough to set my pile of green things aside. 

Thus, another trip in the morning.  On the bright side, practice makes perfect so I shouldn’t be lost for more than 15 or 20 minutes.

the Grit

It’s Christmas – Santa Claus is coming – wait for it!

December 7, 2006

Hi All

It’s official! The countdown to Christmas has begun and the skies are being scanned for Santa’s journey. Check this out at Norad. And if you want to keep a countdown on the time go to Norad 1.

Nice to know that someone is keeping watch. Thank’s Norad.

the Brit


Christmas factoids

December 6, 2006

Hi Brit,

I’ve been doing a little research of my own.

1)  Santa’s reindeer are Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen.

2)  The first reference to Christmas trees in print appeared in Germany in 1531.

3)  All of our States have declared Christmas an official holiday.  The first to do so was Alabama, in 1836, the last was Oklahoma, in 1907.

4)  Just in the US, we’ll send over 3,000,000,000 Christmas cards this year.

5)  The White House first had a Christmas tree in 1856.  The President at that time was Franklin Pierce.

the Grit

Christmas trees

December 4, 2006

Hi Brit,

Over here, most of our Christmas trees are grown for that purpose.  Just in this area, we have several farms that specialize in growing them, and letting you cut your own at a better price than you can get at those lots which spring up all over the place this time of year.

So, from a global warming point of view, this is a good thing.  The key thing about vegetation, including Christmas trees, is that a large part of their makeup is carbon, sucked as CO2 from the atmosphere.  Since CO2 is one of the gases that is theorized to cause global warming, binding it in organic matter is great.  In technical terms, it’s called a “carbon sink.”

That, by the way, is one of the main problems with the Kyoto treaty.  It only considered CO2 released in a given country (except India and China) but didn’t give credit for CO2 a country takes out of the air.  Heck, even Clinton had the sense not to send it to the Senate for ratification.  I can’t believe y’all bought into it.

Oh, and locally, we have a program where Christmas trees are collected, after the Holidays, and chipped into mulch. 

the Grit