Archive for the ‘Britney’ Category

Britney, more human than I thought!

February 23, 2007

Hi Brit,

When I was in high school, my stepfather was a divorce lawyer, so I got to see just how wild some partings of the way can get.  It was bad enough that, after his car was shot up, three times, the stack of death threat letters filled an entire drawer in a file cabinet, and our kitten was stomped to death, tied to a brick, and hurled through our window, he decided to no longer handle domestic cases.

Which brings us to Britney and here troubles with her ex.  After an apparent confrontation with Federline, Britney, well just look at the picture:

 britney.jpg

 While this is obviously troubled behavior, it also reveals some good news.  First, while Britney is experiencing a few mental problems during these stressful times, she is still physically fit, as the size of the dents in that SUV prove.  It even looks like she managed to poke a hole in the metal, which is not easy to do with a blunt weapon like that umbrella.  Which, by the way, is the other good news.  She can still afford the best.  I didn’t even know there was an umbrella made that would hold up to such abuse, but I expect it costs a pretty penny.

Good luck Britney.

the Grit

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Britney suicide attempt

February 22, 2007

Hey Grit

I know we have been following the antics of Britney over the last few months, but this latest report must be the most worrying for her family and friends as well as the girl herself. It seems that, after leaving the rehab clinic, and following on from a row with her ex over the custody of her two children, Britney tried to commit suicide by walking in front of traffic.

In my view, the time has come for someone to take a serious view of this situation. It is obvious from the laxity of the rehab centre that they are more interested in the dollar and promotion impact of having a “headline grabbing” star in their clinic than actually doing the young girl any good. At the same time everything she does appears on the media within minutes, which suggests that someone, somewhere, is feeding them with information. Thus it must appear to Britney that there is no way out of this circus and that she stands a good chance of losing the two people she loves most, her children.

Granted Britney has bought a lot of the media attention onto herself by her antics. But there comes a time when they have to sit back and consider the psychological impact of their constant hounding of her. Maybe the time has come for them to back off and leave the girl to sort out her relationship and other problems out in private. And maybe the time has come for her friends, family and other hangers-on to take a step back and concentrate on helping Britney to recover from whatever demons are haunting her.

We have already had one celebrity suicide in the last few weeks with Anna Nicole Smith. Let us not allow the press and our own insatiable curiosity lead to another one.

the Brit 

Britney even balder!

February 17, 2007

Hi Brit,

What a thing to wake up to, Britney, in the few hours that I don’t have the news on, has rehabbed and shaved her head.  So much for needing that second cup of coffee.  Assuming that her naughty bits are still hairless, this leaves her with only eyebrows to prove she is a mammal.  Unless those are painted on, in which case, I refer you to my post speculating on her being a space alien.

the Grit

The Church of Britney

February 14, 2007

Hi Brit,

Funny you should bring up Britney Spears and church, since my usually unreliable source sent me this at lunch:

“There is a new movement, based only on Internet contact, that is seriously disturbing the Powers That Be in many countries, The Church of Holy Britney.  This semi-religious movement is based upon interpreting her song lyrics and public activity in a prophetic light.  Some of the conclusions of the nameless high priests of this “Church” are considered by those in charge to be dangerously subversive and/or a potential danger to the general public.  For instance, the line, “Hit me baby one more time,” has been interpreted as meaning that the US and France, which have each had one revolution, are due another.  Since contact over the Internet is so anonymous, the only ready method of identifying members of this rapidly growing cult is by their act of devotion, as expressed by not wearing underwear.  It is not known at this time if Britney is involved in this, or even knows of its existence.”

Well, I know I’m going to be looking at the other people in the checkout line differently from now on.

the Grit

Britney and the church

February 14, 2007

No this is not a story about Britney being converted to religion. It is actually a plea from a celebrity Rabbi.  The rabbi has suggested that the current and recent antics of Britney, which have been spashed across the papers, may have a detrimental effect on her children in the future. He is pleading with her to mend her ways and consider the fact that she is now a parent and should act responsibly.

the Brit

Britney sex secrets

February 12, 2007

Hi Grit

You can’t seem to keep Britney out of the news for long, or at least those who want to make money from being associated with her. This time it is her latest ex – Issac Cohen, who lasted for about a month. In an article in the UK News of the World, he reveals all about the star’s sex secrets, going into great detail about their antics in bed.

If it was that fantastic for them, one has to wonder why the relationship did not last very long. Perhaps it was Issac who could not stand the pace rather than Britney.

the Brit

Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lyndsey Lohan: Prosti-tots

February 6, 2007

Hi Grit

I think I must have come across brit_paris_lindsay_002.jpgthe only article that mentions all of the above mentioned girls in one breath. Recounting how at one time all of these girls were friends, and their ability to be able to individually or together garner fame, usually by actions or photographs that are less than tasteful, the newspaper in question reveals that yet again they have come together in a media circus.

The story is that time, in a recent issue posed the question whether the three girls have too much influence on the youth of today, with the cover asking whether we are raising a youth of prosti-tots. Surprisingly 77% agreed with this hypothesis. I find this surprising in that this must mean that the other 23% disagree. Based on internet statistics, it would seem that the lower percentage are either far more vocal and active than those who agree, or the agreeing percentage still go off and buy the papers, read the magazines and click on all the stories about them.

It’s a strange world sometimes.

the Brit

Once again I say, Britney’s not stupid.

January 31, 2007

Hi Brit,

Once again our favorite pop tart has proved that, while she’s a tramp, slut, tart, bad parent, poorly dressed, obnoxious, media whore, with unusual taste in men, she’s not stupid: Casa Federline Up for Grabs.  If she gets her asking price, which you know she will, that’s $6.6 million in profit in 3 years, almost doubling her money.  So, if she ever looses her voice, it looks like she has a fall back career in property investment.

the Grit