Archive for the ‘2012’ Category

China, space potatoes, and the end of the world.

February 13, 2007

Hi Brit,

How many old science fiction movies have you seen that start with something mutating due to space radiation, then eating a good deal of the Earth?  Well, in this case the Chinese are eating the mutants, space potatoes that is!  Purple and sweet, these other worldly spuds come from seeds that were zapped by radiation aboard a Chinese rocket ship.  Now the question is, when will the tater monsters turn on their glutinous masters?  2012, of course, as demonstrated by the fact that potatoes originated in South America, where the Mayans lived!

the Grit

The Vault reveals another sign…

February 9, 2007

Hi Brit,

I hate to start the day with doomsday news, but this story, ‘Doomsday vault’ to resist global warming effects, has to be explored.  Making the assumption that the Norwegians aren’t completely insane, this effort is obviously preparation for the exodus prior to the end of the world in 2012.  Of course, these seeds are probably going to be Mars bound.  If you need proof of the connection, then consider this, “The entry to the vault, which will shoot out of the mountainside, will be a narrow triangular portal made of cement and steel, illuminated with artwork that changes according to the Arctic light.”  Compare that to the back of the Great Seal of the United States, designed by Free Masons.  Then, consider that the Vault contains two chambers connected by sloping tunnels, much like the Great Pyramid at Giza, built by the people who started the Free Masons.

the Grit

US President candidates

February 8, 2007

Hi Grit

As politics is slow in the UK today, due to snow getting into the brains of our Members of Parliament and freezing their brains (which might be seen as a welcome reflief), I thought I would take a web stroll through the US news on presidential canidates for 2008 on the grounds that this would be a less slippery place to be. However I am not sure that I achieved this.

I first came across some news was about Barak Obama and Hilary Clinton. Obama is portrayed as a mixed race, ex-pot smoking, religious convert without a stain on his character who some consider will be the first non-white President, and says that his intention is to unite the Democrats and Republicans (Oh Really?). Clinton on the other hand is portrayed as an old campaginer, ex-first lady with stains only on her husband’s past (Clothes?), with the machine to be able to fund and stay the course. Some also consider that Al Gore, of Global Warming film fame, based on a report that has been proved to be in error in at least 25 different instances, could also come into the frame. Then there is Senator Joe Biden, who apparently is renowned for his ability to pose questions in a manner that no-one understands let alone knows how to answer, and Senator John Kerry who they see has as much chance of successfully telling a joke as I have of becoming pregnant.

And this is just part of the Democrat list. However, at this stage I became seriously depressed at the whole thing, so I phoned the Samaritans to ask them to send someone round to stop me from going outside, laying down on the lawn and waiting from the snow to cover my confused brain. The reason for my condition was the fact there was one major omission in all of the stories I have read. I intend, providing my brain can take it, to look at the Republican band tomorrow. But I do not hold any hope of finding anything more promising.

The missing link? ……………….. Politics. Not in one story that I read did the media give one single comment on the policies that any of these candidates support or are proposing.

Then, just as the Samaritan person was banging on the door, it occurred to me why politics was missing. The election is set for 2008. Four years from that is 2012. I guess that your political parties have decided that, as the world will end in 2012, they might as well treat the electorate to a comedy President for the final term. After all, who is going to give a damn?

the Brit   

It’s all starting to make too much sense!

February 6, 2007

Hi Brit,

In my continuing quest to understand and document the signs and portents leading to the end of the world in 2012, I have just discovered a clue which is making everything just a little too clear, Wal-Mart launches movie, TV download service.  Now don’t get me wrong, I love Wal*Mart; I shop there at least three times a week; A good many of the employees know me by name.  However, when I read this story I had a vision, a very real and clear vision, in which in December of 2012, Wal*Mart adds one more product line, their Super Stores reach critical mass, collapse into black holes and devour the Earth.  The scary part is that, the final Doomsday Product Line, is a series of Brit & Grit personal hygiene accessories.

the Grit

Look out! The light bulb police are coming!

January 31, 2007

Hi Brit,

Besides being a sign of the end of the world, it’s also one of the most ridiculous things I’ve read lately, California may ban conventional lightbulbs by 2012.  (notice the target date)  Of course, since this will leave the poor in the dark, the State will, no doubt, pass out the free bulbs along with free condoms.  However, considering the eco-freak attitude of California’s population, this also proves that they are either poorly informed or insane.  You have read the packages on those fluorescent bulbs, haven’t you?  They contain mercury.  That is, they contain it until they break.  You can’t even throw them in the trash, least they contaminate the local landfill.  So, between all the extra hazardous material clean up teams, the cost of special disposal on a grand scale, and the expense of a light bulb police force to make certain no one smuggles an evil incandescent bulb into the state, I’m not even sure it will save energy.

the Grit

Another Olympics, another sign

January 28, 2007

Hi Brit,

Sorry, but I’ve got bad news for you.  It looks like Blair doesn’t have a ticket to the secret moon base, London 2012 ‘to be greenest ever’, else why waste all that effort?  Or, could this just be a ploy to divert attention from the coming global doom?  I wonder how many can squeeze in up there?

the Grit