Archive for January 12th, 2007

Bend it like Beckham

January 12, 2007

beckham.jpgHi Grit

You may or may not have heard that one of our most famous footballers, David Beckham, has just signed a five year deal to play for a football (soccer) club in LA. Of course, the package might be a little difficult to live on at 80 pence ($1.60) a second, which equates to £500,000 ($1,000,000) a week.

posh.jpgWell in case it gets a little hard to make ends meet, playboy have offered his wife a job in the magazine. Something about centre pages I think. Whilst I would not know what the going rate for that is, I am sure it will not be chicken feed.

You know your people over there should really look at the salary rates you pay some of your celebrities 🙂

the Brit

Religious fanatics everywhere

January 12, 2007

The world of religion is becoming more confusing in the UK every day. We now have a situation where, on top of cancelling office parties for fear of offending other religions, our schools are now being asked to consider banning the singing of hymns in case they offend. However, the church is fighting back. The Catholic church is saying that they are considering banning children of athiests from attending their schools.

I wonder where these people get their crazy ideas from?

the Brit

So the democrats have energy

January 12, 2007

Hi Grit

I see that the lets raise a penny for global warming is catching on, when really what the governments are saying is let’s line our pockets. In fact, if you look at the revenue raised from energy in the western world, it would go a long way to setting up an alternative system. But where does it go? To pay for all the private jets and expensive expenses that keep the politicians in the style to which they want to become accustomed.

Mind you, I read somewhere that we could use solar power. Apparently the US could be self-sufficient in solar power quite easily. All you have to do is cover most of Arizona with solar panels. Now the only thing that bothers me about this is that if we wanted to do the same in the UK, we would have to cover the whole country, because apparently our problem might be greater than yours.

The idea of spending the rest of my life living under a solar panel shield does not appeal

the brit

Simon Cowell x factor

January 12, 2007

Hey Grit

Simon Cowell is well known over here, and for the UK version of the same show. He comes across in just the same way as you have described him and is equally as well liked by most of the public. Of course, the way he presents himself does help his bank balance somewhat, especially as he owns the show. From the statistics I have worked out, he makes about £1 million per series. Add to that what he makes from the US version; and what he will make from a new show where he is trying to find a star for “Grease” and I think it is probably all an act….. Having said that, people who have travelled on his private jet with him do not have too many good words.

the Brit

Sienna Miller? Nude, cool!

January 12, 2007

Hi Brit,

And now for some gratuitous nudity.  Honestly, I have no idea who Sienna Miller is, or what movies she has appeared in, or anything else about her, except, I found this:

 These Sienna Miller Nude Sex Scenes Deserve an Oscar

and figured that some of our readers might be interested.  Besides, gratuitous nudity worked for Monty Python, and who better to learn from?

 the Grit

Simon Cowell, long term drug addict?!?

January 12, 2007

Hi Brit,

 While I’m not sure if anyone over there has heard of Simon Cowell, he’s modestly famous over here as a critic on the reality show, American Idol, which I must admit I’ve never managed to watch all the way through, mostly because Mr. Cowell repulses me far too much to for the mental pain to be worth the effort of struggling through an entire show.  However, the basis of the show is to allow armature singers a chance to perform, then allow the overly critical Mr. Cowell to make fun of them.  However, the sharp tongued one has finally given us evidence of why he’s such an ass, Bob Dylan bores me to tears — Simon Cowell.  The only rational reason for Simon’s deteriorating brain is long term abuse of seriously damaging drugs, most likely sniffing glue.  Well, I suppose it could be that Cowell may just be naturally stupid, or so poorly educated that he is incapable of appreciating the complex lyrics written by Bob Dylan (he does use some big words after all,) but, considering the abusive nature that Simon demonstrates (over and over again) with seeming personal pleasure, long term drug abuse resulting in considerable brain damage is, probably, a better explanation. 

the Grit

Shucks, the US looses one.

January 12, 2007

Hi Brit,

One of those things we’re taught from childhood on is that we, as a people, are evil for what we did to the Indians, excuse me, Native Americans, and are the only people who have ever done such a horrible thing.  Hah!  Even though I’ve long known that the Native American’s got kicked out by the British, French, and Spanish (something they finally teach one in college,) I just found this bit of news, Sweden’s Sami struggle over land rights.  It seems that the Swedes have been oppressing a native people!  Cool!  Sweden has been around a lot longer than the USA, so that means that we, as a people, are off the hook and everyone can start hating the Swedes as evil repressive monsters instead of directing that sentiment toward us.  That’s a load off my mind.

the Grit

Old wisdom still valid.

January 12, 2007

Hi Brit,

I love old wise sayings and stupid criminals (much better than smart crooks), so this caught my attention: Burglary Suspect Picks Bad Hiding Place.  Like they say, look before you leap.  The suspect should get a tattoo proclaiming that while in jail.

the Grit

Democrats solve energy problems!

January 12, 2007

Hi Brit,

Good news!  Our liberal party, the Democrats, have solved our energy crisis.  How, one must be tempted to ask, can they do this in less than a week of legislating?  They’ve fallen back on their tried and true tactics, raise taxes!  Democrats unveil energy package  Simple as that, and the problem is solved.  Assuming that President Bush wouldn’t veto any version of this that lands on his desk, not only will this tax cut Gulf oil and natural gas production, which nasty products lead to Global Warming, but, with convoluted evil genius, it will work to prevent prices on those products from ever falling!  Plus, this will teach Big Oil two important lessons, don’t screw with Nanny Pelosi and start making wind mills because the liberals are going to run you out of business.  Oh, it’s so nice to not have that to worry about any more.

the Grit

Pelosi dines at Big Business trough!

January 12, 2007

Hi Brit,

It’s amusing to watch the players change, while the the game stays the same.  Instead of following up on her promise to run an honest and open Congress, Nanny Pelosi is dishing out the political favors for Big Business in her home district of San Francisco.  This time, she’s directed the party of the people, that would be Democrats, in a scheme to get credit for raising the minimum wage, while helping her home town cronies by screwing the workers in American Samoa:

GOP hits Pelosi’s ‘hypocrisy’ on wage bill

The only way I can figure this one out is that our Speaker Lady doesn’t consider Samoans to be people.  Well, she could just be on the take from the tuna companies.  Someone who out in SF should keep an eye on her house to see if any tuna shaped packages are delivered.

the Grit