At least we drive on the right side of the road.

Hi Brit,

Even though y’all drive on the wrong side of the road, it seems like we have the worst traffic problems.  Animal parts, missile, cause top U.S. traffic headaches  Of course, for the sake of our non-British readers, I should point out that a “lorry” is a “truck.” 

However, it seems like the EU is trying to make up for lost time, European Cities Do Away with Traffic Signs.  Which, I suspect, will be a very, very bad idea.  Oh, and I notice that one of the test cities is Ipswich, which, if I’m not mistaken is where your latest serial killer was haunting.  Could there be a connection?

 Plus, I just found this on (at

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s traffic school. YIKES!

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can’t see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, “Guns don’t kill people. I do.”

Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
A: Always wear a condom.

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too shit-faced to find your keys.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I’d probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.

Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A: It would be tough to be a dickhead all day long.

I was going to say that it makes me glad I don’t drive in LA, but then I realized that, unlike Memphis, their idiots at least TRY to get a license.

the Grit


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