Bush unleashes solar flare to disrupt Democrat communications

Hi Brit,

I was just watching a bit on the news about a solar flare rushing toward the Earth.  It’s expected to disrupt satellite communication, cell phones, and, possibly, even damage the power grid.  While this is bad enough, my usually unreliable source contacted me, even before the news item was finished, with this information:

“The solar flare in question has been caused by the Air Force acting on direct orders of the President.  They used a secret weapon, know as HARP, to cause the sun to spit on us, and are currently using the same device to aim the spear of hot gas at Washington, DC.  The reason for this action is to disable electronic communications in the area so that Democratic Party leaders won’t be able to plan for the eventuality of loosing control of the Senate if and when Senator Johnson can’t serve out his term and is replaced with a Republican.  Since Johnson was disabled by the CIA using a telepathically aimed microwave beam, as directed by Big Oil, Bush felt it was imperative to take this action.  As a cover story in the event this leaks to the press, it will be blamed on a rogue officer who wanted to give Speaker Pelosi a bad hair day.”

Well, I guess we’ll need to wait and see on this one.

Good luck, Senator Johnson.

the Grit

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